Visperas, Just 4 days to go

 a few minutes ago I wrote this note to my friend and Maestra, Marta Combariza. It somehow expresses how I am now.

El lunes es el Vernissage. A las 6, para que te unas a la obra, no se cuantos iran, que va a pasar.

Pero al dejar la galería con todo armado y montado el viernes pasado, salí como si hubiera parido. Extenuada. Y allí quedó la obra, toda sola, después de un año de armarla, jonjoliarle, hacer, cambiar, dudar, soñar, conseguir, buscar, hacer 100 esculturas ¨cuerpos vacíos¨ en alambre de cobre y vestirlos con trapos de alguien, trazar el Laberinto con 300 zapatos viejos que han calzado a 150 mujeres por quién sabe qué recorridos y caminos... allí quedó, ahora la obra es autónoma. Es. Ella hará uso de su propio lenguaje, dirá lo que tiene que decir y le escuchará el susurro alguna mujer que pase por ahi... y yo estaré de espectadora de mí misma, ahi en silencio, aprendiendo lo que la obra me enseñe.

You may translate the lines, so instead, I add to it.

On Thursday and Friday we set up the Installation. Hanne and Bruce came early and we packed up 4 cars. Theirs broke down. so we had to repack in 3... It always happens!!! 

At 10 am we were nine working at the Gallery. 4 dear friends, Hanne, Chandler, Olga, Pilar.  And 4 dear men giving us all the support, Ricardo, José, Mike and Bruce. A team.

I was there as an ant, small, running all over. Some time I felt as the director of a small orchestra, moving from one to the other, asking each one to do his part, to tune in. This or that. Intense. They left one by one and at 3 we were there, just Ricardo and I. Looking.
Now, pick up and go for a nice meal at a French Restaurant near by. Gatineau has good restaurants all over. It turned to be an Arabic one, ¨Fatima¨, with the sacred gold hand women hang on their neck in some Muslim places. I felt it as a good sign, a celebration.

On Friday Jane came and we went through each one of the 100 sculptures, fixed whatever had to be finished or done, made the link between the old shoes in the Labyrinth and again at 3 it was done.

Now for real. I felt as empty as one feels after birth. The baby is not there. I was as exhausted as I remember feeling after birthing. I gave birth to my Installation. It is there. On it´s own, now she has to say whatever she must to whoever will listen or be there. I don´t know. This feeling of not knowing, of letting go of it. Now I will be a spectator of my own work, see what language it develops and listen to whatever I must learn from it. Until March 19th, when we close.